Sentence-Shapers LESSON 1 2 Enchanted Objects in King

Sentence-Shapers LESSON 1 2 Enchanted Objects in King

Sentence-Shapers LESSON 1 2 Enchanted Objects in King Arthur Any everyday object can become an enchanted object: stones; rings; goblets; swords; cloaks; boxes; potions Enchanted Objects each have special power, enchanted by a wizard or witch: The evil witch, Nimueh, casts a spell on a dragon egg and she throws into the

water supply for the castle. The next day a plague erupts: peoples skin turns white with dark blue veins, and many die; Enchanted objects can be good or evil; and their enchantment can only be overcome by more powerful magic. They are sometimes named to show who or where they come from: The Stone of Astolat; The Goblet of Morgana. 3 Mythical beasts

dragons serpents trolls unicorns 4 5

LESSON 2 6 The Lady of the Lake Nimueh, the Lady of the Lake, wears white robes and has many special powers. She lives underwater and never grows old. She can travel through time and to other worlds, and she can view the future. Most importantly, she guards the sword Excalibur. Arthur is now king of England but he has no sword of his own so he goes to the lake with Merlin to ask for Excalibur. There they see a womans hand rise from the water, clutching a sword.

Nimueh agrees that Arthur can have Excalibur and leads them to a barge by the waters edge. Merlin and Arthur row out to the middle of the lake where the hand still holds Excalibur aloft. Arthur grips the sword, which is protected by a scabbard made of gold and precious jewels, and the hand slips back under the water. Merlin asks Arthur which he likes best, the sword or the scabbard. Arthur chooses the sword but this is the wrong answer, for the scabbard has the power to protect him from harm on the battlefield and he must look after it carefully. Years later, the sorceress, Morgan le Fay, steals 7 the scabbard and Arthurs fate is sealed.

The Story Mountain CLIMAX PROBLEM RESOLUTION OPENING ENDING 8 The Story Mountain Nimueh gives Arthur

the sword, Excalibur. Arthur needs a sword Arthur takes the sword BUT it is the scabbard which is most precious. Nimueh, the Lady of the Lake, who has magical powers, guards the sword, Excalibur

An unfinished ending: Arthur has made a wrong decision. We have to wait to find out what happens 9 Stories: seen, heard and written

Visual images can tell a story through what we see; Spoken language can tell stories through what we hear: not just words, but intonation, pace, volume, and emphasis; Written stories have to use words, sentences, and paragraphs to recreate what pictures and voices can do. Writers have to be designers of texts, choosing words, images, sentence structures, plot elements to make the story what the writer wants it to be. So how you shape and design your sentences in writing really matters!

10 The Lady of the Lake I looked, but I could see nothing at first. But then as I looked I saw the surface of the lake shiver and break. And, to my amazement, up out of the lake came a shining sword, a hand holding it, and an arm in a white silk sleeve. There, Merlin whispered. You have your answer. That is Excalibur. It comes from the half-world of Avalon, the blade forged by elf-kind, the

scabbard woven by the Lady Nemue herself, the Lady of the Lake, and my lady too. 11 LESSON 3 12 13 14

Sentence Structure in flowing green came walking across the water out of the mists a figure

A figure came out of the mists A figure in flowing green came out of the mists. A figure in flowing green came walking across the water out of the mists. Can the sentence chunks be arranged in any other order? Eg Out of the mist, a figure in flowing green came walking across the water. What is the subject and the verb in these sentences? A figure came out of the mists A figure in flowing green came out of the mists. A figure in flowing green came walking across the water out of the mists. Out of the mist, a figure in flowing green came walking across the water.

15 Sentence Structure an arm in a white silk sleeve to my amazement came and up out of the lake a shining sword a hand holding it A shining sword came up out of the lake. A shining sword, and a hand holding it, came up out of the lake. To my amazement, a shining sword, and a hand holding it, came up out of the lake. To my amazement, a shining sword, a hand holding it, and an arm in a white silk sleeve came up out of the lake. Can the sentence chunks be arranged in any other order?

What is the subject and the verb in these sentences? 16 Sentence Structure an arm in a white silk sleeve to my amazement came and up out of the lake a shining sword a hand holding it A shining sword came up out of the lake. A shining sword, and a hand holding it, came up out of the lake. To my amazement, a shining sword, and a hand holding it, came up out of the lake. To my amazement, a shining sword, a hand holding it, and an arm in a white silk

sleeve came up out of the lake. Can the sentence chunks be arranged in any other order? What is the subject and the verb in these sentences? 17 The Lady of the Lake I looked, but I could see nothing at first. But then as I looked I saw the surface of the lake shiver and break. And, to my amazement, up out of the lake came a shining sword, a hand holding it, and an arm in a white silk sleeve. There, Merlin whispered. You have your answer. That is Excalibur. It comes from

the half-world of Avalon, the blade forged by elf-kind, the scabbard woven by the Lady Nemue herself, the Lady of the Lake, and my lady too. And as he spoke her name, his voice faltered. See, here she comes. And out of the mists came a figure in flowing green, walking across the water. Yet the water seemed undisturbed beneath her feet as if she was walking on air. She came towards us, holding a scabbard in both her hands, and a swordbelt hanging from it. 18 The Lady of the Lake I looked, but I could see nothing at first. But then as I looked I saw the surface of

the lake shiver and break. And, to my amazement, up out of the lake came a shining sword, a hand holding it, and an arm in a white silk sleeve. There, Merlin whispered. You have your answer. That is Excalibur. It comes from the half-world of Avalon, the blade forged by elf-kind, the scabbard woven by the Lady Nemue herself, the Lady of the Lake, and my lady too. And as he spoke her name, his voice faltered. See, here she comes. And out of the mists came a figure in flowing green, walking across the water. Yet the water seemed undisturbed beneath her feet as if she was walking on air. She came towards us, holding a scabbard in both her hands, and a swordbelt hanging from it. 19

The Lady of the Lake I looked, but I could see nothing at first. But then as I looked I saw the surface of the lake shiver and break. And, to my amazement, up out of the lake came a shining sword, a hand holding it, and an arm in a white silk sleeve. There, Merlin whispered. You have your answer. That is Excalibur. It comes from the half-world of Avalon, the blade forged by elf-kind, the scabbard woven by the Lady Nemue herself, the Lady of the Lake, and my lady too. And as he spoke her name, his voice faltered. See, here she comes. And out of the mists came a figure in flowing green, walking across the water. Yet the water seemed undisturbed beneath her feet as if she was walking on air. She

came towards us, holding a scabbard in both her hands, and a swordbelt hanging from it. 20 Putting the Subject After the Verb And, to my amazement, up out of the lake came a shining sword, a hand holding it, and an arm in a white silk sleeve. And out of the mists came a figure in flowing green, walking across the water. Usually the subject comes before the verb, so when it comes after the verb it changes how we read it. Why do you think Michael Morpurgo reversed the position of the subject and

put it after the verb? What effect does it have on the reader? How did you read this sentence aloud? Putting the subject after the verb makes us wait to find out what the sentence is about it can create suspense or anticipation. It can also help us visualise a scene the way the writer wants us to see it. 21 LESSON 4 22

A writers view: Malorie Blackman explains the choices she makes as a writer http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p011mxd6 23 Telling your Story Draft a description of an incident or event from your plot summary, thinking not just about the storyline but about how to tell it.

How do you want to make your reader feel? What images do you want your reader to see? Does the sentence structure and punctuation help your reader understand what you are telling them? Can you create any emphasis or anticipation by putting the subject of a sentence last? Can you help your reader visualise the incident as it is happening? 24 The Lady of the Lake: A first draft? I looked, but I could see nothing. I looked up and saw the surface of the lake shiver.

A sword came up out of the lake. That is Excalibur and it is made by elves. The Lady of the Lake looks after it said Merlin. A figure came walking across the water. It looked as if she was walking on air. She had a scabbard in one hand and she had a sword in the other. 25 The Lady of the Lake: Morpurgos Version I looked, but I could see nothing at first. But then as I looked I saw the surface of the lake shiver and break. And, to my amazement, up out of the lake came a shining sword, a hand holding it, and an arm in a white silk sleeve.

There, Merlin whispered. You have your answer. That is Excalibur. It comes from the half-world of Avalon, the blade forged by elf-kind, the scabbard woven by the Lady Nemue herself, the Lady of the Lake, and my lady too. And as he spoke her name, his voice faltered. See, here she comes. And out of the mists came a figure in flowing green, walking across the water. Yet the water seemed undisturbed beneath her feet as if she was walking on air. She came towards us, holding a scabbard in both her hands, and a swordbelt hanging from it. 26 The Lady of the Lake: a first draft?

I looked, but I could see nothing. I looked up and saw the surface of the lake shiver. A sword came up out of the lake. That is Excalibur said Merlin and it is made by elves. The Lady of the Lake looks after it. A figure came walking across the water. It looked as if she was walking on air. She had a scabbard in one hand and she had a sword in the other. Shortest two sentences: 7 words and 8 words Longest two sentences: 11 words and 15 words 27

The Lady of the Lake: Morpurgos version I looked, but I could see nothing at first. But then as I looked I saw the surface of the lake shiver and break. And, to my amazement, up out of the lake came a shining sword, a hand holding it, and an arm in a white silk sleeve. There, Merlin whispered. You have your answer. That is Excalibur. It comes from the half-world of Avalon, the blade forged by elf-kind, the scabbard woven by the Lady Nemue herself, the Lady of the Lake, and my lady too. And as he spoke her name, his voice faltered. See, here she comes. And out of the mists came a figure in flowing green, walking across the water. Yet the water seemed undisturbed beneath her feet as if she was walking on air. She came towards us, holding a scabbard in both her hands, and a swordbelt hanging from it.

Shortest two sentences: 3 words each Longest two sentences: 25 and 29 words each 28 Sentence-Shapers: Key Learning Sentences can be shaped to enhance meanings in your story Writers can choose where to put information in a sentence to give it different emphasis Putting the subject last in the sentence, after the verb, can create emphasis or anticipation Varied sentence lengths creates a good text rhythm

Short sentences can draw attention to key events or moments You need to shape your sentences to help your reader see or feel what is happening in the story. 29

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